今回は性交痛の症状を抱える方にお話を伺いました。
当為
- 性交困難により恋人と破局
- 誰かに相談しても痛みに弱い人扱い
- 病院では「精神的な問題」と言われて打開策もなし
今回は以上のような内容について書いていきたいと思います。
性交困難体験談の概要
今回ご協力頂いたのは、えぬさん。20代後半の方です。
当為
えぬさん
その後も性交渉＝痛いという考えが抜けず、藁にも縋る思いで病院に行きましたが、精神的な問題と言われました。
周囲の方に相談してもなかなか解決策が見つからず、むしろ悩むばかりです。
性交困難で恋人と破局
当為
えぬさん
実はお互いに初めて同士でしたので、初めはこんなものかと思っていました。
しかし何度試しても痛いのは変わらず、耐えきれず泣いてしまったことがあり、それから気まずくなってその彼とはお別れしました。
当為
えぬさん
ところが回数を重ねるうちに彼もイライラし面倒くさくなったのか、私が痛いのに「思い切って入れれば？」と言ってくることが増えました。
男性に対して負の感情ばかり抱く自分が辛い
恋人とお別れしてからもやはり性交困難は続き、お相手の方の言動に失望していったというえぬさん。
えぬさん
「一緒に頑張っていこうね」と言われても無理やり入れられそうになったり。
若干行為にもですけど、男性が少し信用できなくなっているかもしれません。
当為
えぬさん
でも何より、男性に対してそのようにしか思えない自分が一番辛いです。
相談しても「我慢できない私がダメ」
えぬさんは症状について、何度か周囲の方に相談することもあったそうです。
しかし却って、痛みを我慢できない自分が悪いと言われているような気持ちになってしまいました。
えぬさん
当為
えぬさん
特に女性から言われると、まるで我慢できない私がダメと言われてるみたいで、本当に辛いです。
当為
えぬさん
今はもう開き直って、そうだよ！と言うし、そう思ってます。
病院では「精神的な問題」と言われ解決策なし
悩んだ末、思い切って病院に行って内診をしてもらったというえぬさん。しかし解決策は見つかりませんでした。
えぬさん
そこで思い切ってメールで問い合わせてみたところ、相談も受け付けていますとの回答をもらったので行ってみました。
当為
実際に受診してみていかがでしたか。
えぬさん
先生と会って話して、内診しますか？と聞かれたので、思い切ってはいと答えて内診しました。
内診の際、中を見るために膣鏡を入れられたのですが、私がそこで苦しい声を出したので、先生がサイズを小さいものに変えました。
当為
えぬさん
小さい膣鏡も異物感はありましたが、とにかく我慢しました。内診自体は５分もかからなかったと思います。
当為
えぬさん
当為
えぬさん
しかし他の病院の紹介や、指導といったものはありませんでした。
ただ、本当に頭痛薬のような一般的な痛み止めと胃薬を処方されただけでした。
行為の前に服薬してください、と薬を出され、正直がっかりでした。
それで痛くないなら、とっくにやってるよ、と思いました。
当為
自院で無理なら、せめて他院を紹介するとかあるでしょうに。
もし解決を望むのであれば、セカンドオピニオンを活用するとよいかもしれませんね。
現在の気持ちと将来への不安
えぬさん
当為
将来のことはどう思いますか？
えぬさん
お恥ずかしい話ですが、挿入以外のことは抵抗があまりないので、辛いです。
当為
最後に
今回は性交痛でお悩みの方にお話を伺いました。
これまでの経験から、男性に対してネガティブな感情を抱いてしまうというお話には私自身もとても共感しました。
もちろん男性に性欲はあるし、もちろん恋人としたいだろうし、ふつう当たり前にできることと思っているでしょうから、苛立ってしまう気持ちも理解できます。
しかし本当に痛くて怖い気持ちをわかってもらえていないように感じて、異性や恋愛そのものから距離を置きたくなります。
周囲の方に相談した時の反応も、やはり性交渉＝当たり前にできることという認識なのでしょう。
もちろん私自身も性交渉ができない人間だとわかるまでは同じように思っていたので、必ずしも周囲の方を責められません。
しかしだからこそ、余計に自分だけがなぜできないと悩みが深くなってしまうように感じます。
当為
最後まで閲覧して頂きありがとうございました。
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