剛毛女のクセ強めな脱毛体験記はこちら!

絵を描くことが嫌いになったきっかけと、再び楽しめるようになった理由。

誰かさん

最近よく絵を描いてるよね。

当為

でも今まで絵を描くことはずっと嫌いだったんだよ。

私はブログでもよくイラストを描いているので意外に思われるかもしれないけれど、絵を描くのが楽しいと思えるようになったのは、本当に最近のこと

今回は私が絵を描くことを嫌いになったきっかけや、再び絵の楽しさに気づいたエピソードについて書いてみる。

絵を描くことが嫌になった理由。

誰かさん

どうして絵を描くことが嫌いになったの?

当為

それは父の存在があったから。

私の父は大学で美術をやっていた。

当然、絵もうまくて器用に工作もする。

私が幼かった頃は、私の気に入っていたぬいぐるみを絵にかいてくれたり、木材を使っておもちゃを作ってくれたこともあった。

泣きながら絵画の宿題をした小学校の夏休み

私が小学校に入学すると、夏休みに絵画の宿題が出されるようになった。

それは夏休み明けに、市町村や都道府県の絵画コンクールに提出するためのもの。

母は「うちには専門家がいるから、絵の宿題を見てもらいなさい。」と言った。

まだ幼かった私は、コンクールのいくつかの既定も確認したかったので、迷わず父と絵を仕上げることにした。

父はとても熱心に教えてくれた。

しかし時に熱がこもりすぎて、感情的になったり語気が強くなったりすることがあった。

誰かさん

身内に教えるってなると、例えば勉強とかでもそうだけど、つい感情的になってしまったりするよね。

当為

うん、そういうことだと思う。父は少し子供っぽいところもあったしね。

私の描く絵の出来がもう少し良かったら、父の反応は違っていたのかもしれない。

絵を描くことがお世辞にもうまいとは言えなかった私は、それを指摘され直され続け、毎年のように泣きながら絵の宿題を仕上げていた

絵は上手に描かなければならない

夏休みの宿題がトラウマで、私は絵を描くことが嫌だと思うようになった。

誰かさん

一番嫌だと思ったことはなに?

当為

絵は上手に描けないとだめって言われているような気がしたことかな。

自分の絵の未熟なところを直され続けた結果、絵は上手く描かないといけないものと思うようになった。

それから、学校の美術の時間も憂鬱でたまらなくなった。

当為

上手く描かなきゃと思ったら委縮しちゃって。美術の授業は子供なりに息苦しくてツラかったよ。

好きに描くって楽しい

誰かさん

じゃあどうして最近になって絵を描き始めたの?

当為

自由に描くことの楽しさに気づいたからだよ。

ブログを始め、そのオリジナリティを出すために、重い腰を上げてちょっとしたイラストを描くようになった。

夏休みのトラウマからももう10年以上経過。絵を描くことに、以前ほどの抵抗はなかった。

それでも最初のうちは上手く描けなかったら嫌だなという気持ちが先行して、正直嫌々描いていた部分があった。

しかし、だんだんと絵を描くことが楽しいと思えるようになっていた。

構図、タッチ、色、すべて自分で決めて、自分でゴーサインを出しブログに載せ、インターネットに上げる。

なんでも自分でできることが楽しくてたまらなかった。

当為

もともと芝居もやってたりとか、創作活動はものすごくわくわくするし、好きなんだよね。

誰かさん

もともと好きだったことが、絵でも解放されたんだね。

楽しさがなければ、物事を突き詰めてやろうとは思わない

当為

小学生の頃の絵は絵画コンクールに出すものだったから、ある程度上手く描く必要があるのもわかる。

誰かさん

確かにそれもそうか。

当為

でも、本来絵って楽しんで描くものだよね。少なくとも、絵を楽しまないことには、絵の技術をみがこうという気持ちも生まれないと思う。

誰かさん

最近Youtubeでイラストの勉強をしているのは、絵を描くことを楽しめた結果なんだね。

最後に

当為

これからも無理なく楽しんで描いていきたい。いつか、自分の作ったものを好きだといってくれる人ができたら嬉しいな。

誰かさん

楽しみだね。
最後まで閲覧して頂きありがとうございました。

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